asking my brain to do something different

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Angerfriend

Posted by on 05 Jul 2015 | Tagged as: asking my brain to do something different

It’s been an angry Spring.

Actually, if I trace it back, this relationship with anger has always been contentious – harmony and grace are much easier friendships to cultivate, more alluring and seemingly worth the attention.

But sometimes anger finds me, and camps out on the front porch waiting to play, again, like when we were kids and a full raging yahoo was not yet unseemly or inappropriate. Put a cape on that kid and the anger swirls worthy  of a superhero’s crusade – it rises, expresses and defends, then morphs into giggles. Simple as that.

These days, anger emails, or texts, in polite missives, it presents persistent sublimation opportunities, using professional language. It never gets to the giggling. Anger is the friend I still want to ditch – I don’t know how to be seen in public with this bright fierceness, blaring embarrassing tendencies, acting out. I judge, and I shut it down.

I’ve developed this whole control thing – which is all well and good for the rest of you, but it means that I’m often fighting with myself, fighting myself, fighting this friend which everybody can see in me anyways, holding it down just beneath the surface as if to drown the fire in a puddle. It feels like no fun.

A friend posted a poem/musing by David Whyte today, saying she’d like to hear it read to her around a campfire, and nominated me to do it. There is a burn ban on since the West is currently going up in smoke, so I spoke the words into a field mic to save them for later.

I needed to read it out loud – I needed to get beyond the “stamping out the brush fire” zone and into the illumination which comes of loving the world and its people, and feeling raw enough grow into that love: All of it – not just the part that is under control.

solstice 2013

Posted by on 21 Jun 2013 | Tagged as: asking my brain to do something different

Clift’s Notes on the summer solstice 2013

~ Doors are closing, other doors are opening

-> this will require immediate attention to properly manage

+ emotions are super ^ right now

” Do not let the unpredictable currents wash away all that has been built.”

* Disaster by water (Saturn transits Scorpio)

 

~ Physical body is tuning ^

-. higher standard of health and heart

-. self-discipline

– purification: mind, physical health, environment

– the immediate purge of the toxic

 

~ Fear not – learn not to fear the unknown / unaccomplished

-. detox trauma, clear afflictions, resolve karmic debt, remove entanglements, recharge will power

 

~ The feeling of Drain on emotions and well-being will end

-. renew the deep power (w/in us all)

+ healing energy -. put focus in the beauty

* gratefulness is key: count blessings before hardship

 

~ mix fire and water: go swimming in the sunshine

-> wash away old neg and raise refresh

= more successful navigation of the changes

* as within, so without

– amysthyst in water

– citrine in sun

– blue kyanite to clear and open the mind

…mysticamari.com…

 

 

Sacred geometry

Posted by on 09 Oct 2012 | Tagged as: asking my brain to do something different

sacred geometry

this video works with a reiki 1 symbol, cho ku rei, which increases energy, and its inverse, which balances. next tattoo?

Continuum: Orbital consciousness

Posted by on 21 May 2010 | Tagged as: asking my brain to do something different

Continuum: Orbital Consciousness

Spring 2010

with Emilie Conrad – founder. [Her dad was a Tesla guy, she grew up reading frequencies. Combine this with time in the West Indies – where wave motion is prayer]

? How do we become self-limiting?

The fluid system is the inquiry of Continuum – the resonant stream: no boundaries, no time/space differential

-slowing down the wave – all the information is in the interval

it is “health assurance”

We soften the inhibitors to begin to expand capacity to resonate

*At the Water’s Edge – Karl Zimmer

*On Becoming Human – PBS documentary – what Darwin didn’t know

*Life on Land – Emilie Conrad book on Continuum

*CSI: Cosmic Scene Investigator

Electronics:

-Our fluid is adjusting to the rhythm of the computer

-modern life= electricity and speed

-in speed, you cannot feel (speed as a coping strategy for folks who don’t want to feel)

-consolidation of fluid molecules can actually lock us in to space

Oppression:

-The dominator model destroys sensation:

disconnect from body

God is elsewhere

-you cannot be self-referential under oppression

(self-referential: to claim our own authority)

The tissue is the versatility of the organism – its ability to manage /adjust and adapt to its environment

“I don’t care what the diagnosis is – the first stage of anything is isolation”

Empathy as the growth of intelligence

How do you get the compression to move?

SOUND

the more variance/ nuance in sounds, the more refined dexterity in the tissue

GEL/SOL Phase Transition

water absorbs the energy and vibration of the land – it is carrying the reflection of its context

Gel: semi-solid, “body”, activity, bound in time, inhale

Sol: aqueous, “wave”, fluid deconstructs itself, no longer bound in time, exhale

*as we increase aquiosity, the system re-organizes itself at a more complex level of coherency

Breath: Low E (yin)

wrapping the sound around your neck, one way and then the other

x3

then your chest, then your solar plexus, then your hips

using your fingers as tuning forks on the place where you are working – tone each action

Ees are lateralizing sounds – widen the focus of the eyes

Breath: Puffed O   (yang)

-lips closed, cheeks puffed out, move the sound and around your cheeks

Breath: Blurs

-vibrating vocal cords in the back of the throat

-leave an interval of silence – the main part of the Blur is Silence

(hummingfish)

-lazy, slow, wide, inside front of spine

-use it with hands on places that hurt, in healing, Blurs spread tissue immediately

Exercise

Baseline Breathing: check in, lying on back

3 Ees, wrapping and circling x face, chest, solar plexus, hips

open attention

Legs up, Roll from side to side using Blurs, legs at 45 degrees

play at creating micro-traction, extending legs, using elbows for leverage

Go back to Ees, see what happened.

The nervous system is a pattern addict, (associative brain)

The Blur is so early, there is no associative brain, so you are out of the pattern altogether

The way that fluid communicates is in shapes

-We’re merging our consciousness with the fluid system – softening the inhibitors, making way for the bio-intelligence

Thanks, Betsy –

Posted by on 10 Jan 2010 | Tagged as: asking my brain to do something different

SMOKEY THE BEAR SUTRA by gary snyder
Once in the Jurassic about 150 million years ago, the Great Sun Buddha in this corner of the Infinite Void gave a discourse to all the assembled elements and energies: to the standing beings, the walking beings, the flying beings, and the sitting beings–even the grasses, to the number of thirteen billion, each one born from a seed, assembled there: a Discourse concerning Enlightenment on the planet Earth.

“In some future time, there will be a continent called America. It will have great centers of power called such as Pyramid Lake, Walden Pond, Mt. Rainier, Big Sur, Everglades, and so forth; and powerful nerves and channels such as Columbia River, Mississippi River, and Grand Canyon. The human race in that era will get into troubles all over its head, and practically wreck everything in spite of its own strong intelligent Buddha-nature.”

“The twisting strata of the great mountains and the pulsings of volcanoes are my love burning deep in the earth. My obstinate compassion is schist and basalt and granite, to be mountains, to bring down the rain. In that future American Era I shall enter a new form; to cure the world of loveless knowledge that seeks with blind hunger: and mindless rage eating food that will not fill it.”

And he showed himself in his true form of

SMOKEY THE BEAR

A handsome smokey-colored brown bear standing on his hind legs, showing that he is aroused and watchful.

Bearing in his right paw the Shovel that digs to the truth beneath appearances; cuts the roots of useless attachments, and flings damp sand on the fires of greed and war;

His left paw in the mudra of Comradely Display–indicating that all creatures have the full right to live to their limits and that of deer, rabbits, chipmunks, snakes, dandelions, and lizards all grow in the realm of the Dharma;

Wearing the blue work overalls symbolic of slaves and laborers, the countless men oppressed by a civilization that claims to save but often destroys;

Wearing the broad-brimmed hat of the west, symbolic of the forces that guard the wilderness, which is the Natural State of the Dharma and the true path of man on Earth:

all true paths lead through mountains–

With a halo of smoke and flame behind, the forest fires of the kali-yuga, fires caused by the stupidity of those who think things can be gained and lost whereas in truth all is contained vast and free in the Blue Sky and Green Earth of One Mind;

Round-bellied to show his kind nature and that the great earth has food enough for everyone who loves her and trusts her;

Trampling underfoot wasteful freeways and needless suburbs, smashing the worms of capitalism and totalitarianism;

Indicating the task: his followers, becoming free of cars, houses, canned foods, universities, and shoes, master the Three Mysteries of their own Body, Speech, and Mind; and fearlessly chop down the rotten trees and prune out the sick limbs of this country America and then burn the leftover trash.

Wrathful but calm. Austere but Comic. Smokey the Bear will Illuminate those who would help him; but for those who would hinder or slander him…

HE WILL PUT THEM OUT.

Thus his great Mantra:

Namah samanta vajranam chanda maharoshana Sphataya hum traka ham mam

“I DEDICATE MYSELF TO THE UNIVERSAL DIAMOND BE THIS RAGING FURY BE DESTROYED”

And he will protect those who love the woods and rivers, Gods and animals, hobos and madmen, prisoners and sick people, musicians, playful women, and hopeful children:

And if anyone is threatened by advertising, air pollution, television, or the police, they should chant SMOKEY THE BEAR’S WAR SPELL:

DROWN THEIR BUTTS
CRUSH THEIR BUTTS
DROWN THEIR BUTTS
CRUSH THEIR BUTTS

And SMOKEY THE BEAR will surely appear to put the enemy out with his vajra-shovel.

Now those who recite this Sutra and then try to put it in practice will accumulate merit as countless as the sands of Arizona and Nevada.

Will help save the planet Earth from total oil slick.

Will enter the age of harmony of man and nature.

Will win the tender love and caresses of men, women, and beasts.

Will always have ripened blackberries to eat and a sunny spot under a pine tree to sit at.

AND IN THE END WILL WIN HIGHEST PERFECT ENLIGHTENMENT

…thus we have heard…

(may be reproduced free forever)

Go get right with god, girl –

Posted by on 28 Jun 2009 | Tagged as: asking my brain to do something different

Take your pent up wishes
and shape them in your form
live em out and embody
what you stand for.

Get your ass up off that porch
and start working it –
put your arms to use in the field
to feed your self.
Come into being, as a person.

Send your fears flurrying
with a breath of hot air
from your lungs. Push yourself.
You gotta get right
in relationship
to yourself.

Speak true words
and mean them.
Don’t let people play you
and cut them some slack.
Don’t sweat your off days neither.

Just come round again
to yourself. let your eyes
shine with it and give it on
because the people need it
right now.

They need you to be clear
about who you are, to make it easier
to reflect themselves in your eyes.
They need to be able to shine some too.
You can give them that grace
and it don’t cost you nothin.
It builds.

Build the people up
and stay out of the bog down shit.
Plant your seeds of all kinds
and play some more. Thrive on fun
again for a while – but use it,

turn it like mulch in the soil
of your heart and then
grow and harvest your fuel.

follow up / through

Posted by on 12 Nov 2008 | Tagged as: asking my brain to do something different

because it seems / the thing to do
i will open up the smile / once more for you

starting the morning off with a little reading on Dakinis

Posted by on 06 Nov 2008 | Tagged as: asking my brain to do something different

I’m reading a book about the feminine principle in Tibetan Buddhism called Dakini’s Warm Breath by Judith Simmer-Brown, who is a professor at Naropa – and I’m using my favorite approach when it comes to dense and complex but well written tomes: opening at random and reading a few pages.
Here’s from last night’s exercise, p.90.

“In Vajrayana meditation, the practitioner becomes accustomed to the vast openness of this experience of the ultimate nature.
This is the true meaning of “kha” in “khandro”. The wisdom dakini is of the essence of emptiness, understood in Vajrayana language to be pure space. The images used to express this ungraspable experience are, in the inner tantras, those of sky (namkha) or space (kha). This is not ordinary space; it is Ying (dhatu), which is the unconditioned, ineffable ground of all experience. Ying does not refer to a philosophically derived conclusion concerning the lack of inherent existence of all phenomena, as one might find in the Madhyamaka schools of Mahayana. Instead, it refers to a direct experience of primordial vastness out of which all other experiences arise. While this vastness is in the realm of experience, it is not accessed by any method or experience of anything other than itself, for it is inherent in the nature of mind.

One can understand Ying through the analogy of a cloudless sky, but one realizes Ying through the practice of actually contemplating the cloudless sky. Such a sky is ideal for practice because it has not support and contains nothing upon which to fixate. When one gazes deeply into a cloudless sky there is tremendous capacity to experience the nature of mind, the inner Ying. Perceiving the simultaneity of the cloudless sky and the nature of mind is the real discovery of space. There is no arising, dwelling, or ceasing in what one observes; neither can these be found in the mind that observes. When the practitioner receives transmission from the guru, the inseparability of Ying and Yeshe is recognized experientially as nondual awareness.

From this point of view, the quintessential dakini is not merely space itself, but simultaneously wakefulness that realizes space. Calling this the mind is too narrow, for its nature transcends the mind, yet because it is an experience we speak of space and wakefulness as the ultimate nature of the mind. Because there is space, an all-pervading vastness; it is possible for nondual, self-existing wakefulness to arise, which is Yeshe. If knowing were separate from what it knows, we could not know. The moment space is known in our experience, Yeshe is there. They cannot be separate. Space is likened to water, wakefulness to wetness; space is the flame, wakefulness is the heat of the flame. There is no space without wakefulness, no wakefulness without space.

Wakefulness radiates uninterruptedly and illuminates all experience. For this reason, a favorite image of Yeshe is the dawn, the rising sun that illumines ignorance and confusion. The ultimate feminine principle is this inseparable space-wakefulness, ying-yeshe.”

Yin is a principle which I’ve only ever half-understood, for all that I tattooed a ying/yang infinity on my skin when I was 19. (I guess I’ve only ever half-understood yang as well, and since they are each a part of the balance, perhaps I do get it afterall…) This concept of yin-yeshe is interesting to me because I’ve had a hard time getting past the notion of yin as a vacuum, a magnetic void – and this way of understanding the sentient aspects of yin helps me place awareness again smack dab in the midst of all that is arising. As it should be…

Legomonism

Posted by on 14 Aug 2008 | Tagged as: asking my brain to do something different

Lift up the self by the Self / and don’t let the self droop down.

For the Self is the self’s only friend / and the self is the Self’s only foe.

– Bhagavad Gita, Chapter 6 verse 5. From the Book of Runes intro, which continues:

The Book of Runes has been written as a handbook for the spiritual warrior. Free of anxiety, radically alone and unattached to outcomes, the spiritual warrior places absolute trust in the struggle for awareness, and is mindful that what matters is to have a true present. It takes a long time to grow in wisdom, to say nothing of the time it takes to learn to think well. Following the warrior way is not for everyone, although it is available to all who are willing to undergo its challenges. To embark on this path is to cultivate the Witness Self, the Watcher Within, the one who can profitably converse with the Runes.

That fellow on the bus who randomly killed his seatmate – a samurai twisted up in a lost culture – I offer this creed as reminder that the urge to exact action is an old one, formerly bound in honor and lineage. Now unmoored and veering down movie sets… or perhaps he was a wolf borne into a boy’s body, and finally unloosed. nonetheless.

A Warrior’s Creed

I have no parents: I make the heavens and earth my parents.

I have no home: I make awareness my home.

I have no life or death: I make the tides of breathing my life and death.

I have no divine power: I make honesty my divine power.

I have no means: I make understanding my means.

I have no magic secrets: I make character my magic secret.

I have no body: I make endurance my body.

I have no eyes: I make the flash of lightning my eyes.

I have no ears: I make sensibility my ears.

I have no limbs: I make promptness my limbs.

I have no strategy: I make “unshadowed by thought” my strategy.

I have no designs: I make “seizing opportunity by the forelock” my design.

I have no miracles: I make right-action my miracles.

I have no principles: I make adaptability to all circumstances my principles.

I have no tactics: I make emptiness and fullness my tactics.

I have no talents: I make with my talent.

I have no friends: I make my mind my friend.

I have no enemy: I make carelessness my enemy.

I have no armor: I make benevolence and righteousness my armor.

I have no castle: I make immovable-mind my castle.

I have no sword: I make absence of self my sword.

– Anonymous Samurai, Fourteenth Century.

Summer and the many festivals

Posted by on 13 Aug 2008 | Tagged as: asking my brain to do something different

When labor for the sake of vision has filled your heart / with its solid satisfactory shine,

and the details crossed off each list number higher / than those yet to come,

take yourself and a box full of sustenance: / a good hat and sturdy shoes / plus that laugh that hasn’t

much emerged since last winter / and get thee to good music. / Lay your body down

in the field grasses / soak in the sound of harmonies rising on the fair breezes / and when the spirit

moves you / allow yourself to be moved / and keep moving / to join in the great speckled dance

of jubilative restoration; / go Get Down / and call it holy / for this is what will redeem you

in your own eyes / and legs / and elbows, / that you heed the call of joy / when in comes

and greet it / eyes alight / hips shaking / laughter firmly loosed / in your heart.

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